Myriad of things I have not done or done because of others
Writing is just one of myriad of other things that I have not done or done because of others. Others have always been my first starting point. “Shall I go out with my girlfriends tonight? I’d love to, but that would mean leaving my husband at home on his own…do I really want to be so selfish?” or “I’m very tired today and I’d love to take a bath and go to bed, but I can’t say no to my friend” Conversations like these ones have stopped me doing many things in life or have forced me to do things that I did not want to, and I now realize how I have blocked myself from fully enjoying all opportunities of life and how I have been violent towards me.
Would I be happy to know that my husband is stopping himself by enjoying life because he does not want to leave me alone? Would I be pleased to know that my friend is not taking care of herself because she doesn’t feel she can say no to me? No, I would not. Sure, I’m grateful that they could think about me but what I’m looking for is for them to be happy and free to be themselves!
The shift happened on my yoga mat
The shift for me happened on my yoga mat, but it can happen in many different ways. My yoga practice at that time was more for others than for myself. I had to reach the full pose for the teacher, my husband and friends to be proud of me. One day I realized that I was not doing myself any good and I was not listening to my body warning me that I was going to injure myself. My knees were not happy and I was often having post-classes pain. I naturally put more attention to what yoga teachers say about the fact that yoga is not about the full pose and started stepping back a little bit. My practice became softer, more loving, more peaceful and guess what, my body was so much happier! The process of giving love to myself by listening to what I really wanted started there.
I think of myself before others
Now I think of myself before others. People may think this is selfish, but I see this as nurturing my being so as to be fully there when others need me. I treat myself like I’d love others to treat themselves. I am the most important person I know in life, and without myself I cannot live. If I am not good, loved ones will not either as I will give them suffering. Selfish is not loving myself. Selfish is not being able to say no and therefore lying to others. Selfish is hurting myself without thinking how this could impact others.
My life has beautifully improved since I started giving more love to myself than to others. My relationships have flourished, I’ve met beautiful new friends, I do what I want in life, I am more balanced and a world of infinite possibilities is opening up in front of me.
We live this life only once. This is not a rehearsal. Love yourself and others will love you.
Check what I do on my website http://www.inyogajoy.com/about.html .
And if you have strong fears that are blocking you check the article “How to deal with panic and fear” http://www.ottosoundtherapy.com/articles.html .
Be in joy!